Say what?

I've been signing into my Blog all week, creating a new post and then nothing. I see the white box just waiting for my words to fill it in. So much I want to say, so much has happened since I last posted. A part of me doesn't have the energy. I know I can't write brief quick entries. I like detail. I need detail. I have a lot I need to write. I'm holding it all inside. But it's going to be l-o-n-g. You've been warned. I hope you stick with me and stick around. One day I'll get this regular blog posting thing down.

Okay now that that's out of the way I have a problem. It's self imposed I will admit. But, still a problem. I'm a single mom of two children (in case you're just finding my blog) and I work full time. When I come home I make dinner, unload and reload the dishwasher, usually tackle some laundry and the list goes on. I always say my real job starts once I get home. My kids are old enough to help out around the house. I don't ask make them do very much. Their dad started giving them allowance twice a month. I in turn added some chores like cleaning their room, cleaning their bathroom and putting their dishes in the dishwasher.

The Z-Man gives me shit ALL THE TIME when I ask him to do anything. The Princess is still of the age where she loves to help. Once I get home I'm tired. I just want stuff done and quickly. I usually end up shooing them away and tackling everything on my own. Then I get a major attitude and crack open the wine bottle.

My love and I had a serious talk because she's of the opinion the kids should be doing a lot more around the house. I agreed but also pointed out that I suck at consistency. I told her I would pick one or two things that I can have them do every day and build a habit. For me and for the kids.

Fast forward to this past Monday. We came home and got settled. I asked the kids to unload the dishwasher while I started dinner. A lot of moaning and bitching ensued but they did it. Fast! Tuesday, same deal. A bit less bitching and add in some deep sighs.

Then tonight, I told them to wash their hands and unload the dishwasher. The Z-Man threw a fit. The Princess started the job singing Jingle Bells. I was in the kitchen with them starting dinner. My son is still alive after this conversation:

Z-Man - I don't want to do this again.

Me - Too bad, so sad buddy. I can't cook dinner in a dirty kitchen.

Z - But we already did this yesterday.

M - Yes you are correct. It has to be done every day.

Z - Well I don't want to do this every day!

M - Me neither. I work all day then come home and have to cook dinner, clean, do laundry, pack lunches etc... The least you can do is help out the family and unload the dishwasher. When you and your sister do it together as a team, it gets done in under 5 minutes.

Z - Why do I have to do this? It's your YOUR job.

M - I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR DAMN MIND?!?!

Z - Well do I get paid for doing this?

M - Your dad gives you allowance whenever he sees you and you do nothing around the house to benefit our family. If you want the allowance, you do the chores. This is now one of them. EVERY DAY! (remember, I suck at the consistency thing so the chores I mentioned above don't always happen)

Z - Silence

Honestly, I wanted to smack him. I couldn't believe he made such a sexist remark. Am I raising a sexist pre-teen boy who thinks a woman should cook and clean for him. The answer seems to be yes! How do I change this? How do I make him grateful for what he has? How do I teach him to be humble, appreciative, helpful, learn empathy and sympathy? He is so into himself and in his head. Into his video games, and phone.

I'm failing him and while I'm angry he made that statement, I'm more angry at myself for letting it get this far. My eyes are open and my mind alert. How can I make this better?